But part of me wanted to feel it embrace me.I knew I should protest. But the longer I looked, the more I felt thesensation of falling."Can we try one on?" Darla said.Angie had no problem handling Benny's penis. She would slide this tubeover it, then that one. She swapped out rings. She asked what color wewanted.Angie picked a dull gray one with spikes. It was smaller than Iexpected, an extra-small, Angie said. But it fit. Darla pushed the pinsforward. She held the lock in her hands, then looked at me and smiled."You're going to the big house," she said. "Well, maybe it's the smallhouse. But you're going to prison."And she clicked it.And all control flowed out of me. If I had the key, it might have beenexciting. But Darla gripped it tightly. She had no urge to let it go. Itmade me nervous. I felt trapped. Confined, in a naughty way.I tapped it. I tugged on the lock. There was no give anywhere."It's like your dick is a little turtle,' Darla said "And the cage isit's shell. Look, it's. I think she got what she wanted, and then realized she didn’t want it.”“I think a lot of people are like that, Johnny,” my dad replied, “You didn’t get what you wanted when you were a kid, did you?”“No,” I admitted, “But I think overall, I wanted what I’ve gotten.”“That makes you lucky,” he replied, “But what about-”“I didn’t say life was perfect,” I told him, “There were lots of things that could have been better, and there has been a high cost to some of it. But the truth is, I’ve mostly enjoyed the life I lived.”“I’m glad.” He said, a bit gruff. We needed to work on that; we still had a lot of things to work on. I had made too many mistakes; hurt too many people. Having him truly forgive me for disappearing for 25 years would take some time. I could tell he wanted to, though.“Are you packed yet, dad?”“Where are we going?”“Ultimately, a small farm north west of Fargo, North Dakota,” I told him, “It is time you meet my family. I know this is going to be a process, but it’s time to.
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